Archive for drinks policy

oh, computers.

April 22, 2008 at 4:58 pm · Filed under being a drone, clashes with technology, drinks policy

Hi there, friends. I hope you are having a better afternoon than I am. The Bea has been testy today. I think I’m getting on her nerves. When she’s crabby, the patrons pay for it in one way or another. So I tried to do what any good drone would do — I went through the library and warned people to put their drinks away. I should get paid extra, don’t you think? Yes.

There are little things that I have done to annoy the Bea, but friends, I swear, I didn’t do anything on purpose today. One of my favorite pastimes is to tell the Bea that someone was looking for her, and that this person needed information. Oh, but I forgot to ask for this person’s name. Hehe. That actually drives her nuts. She’ll exit the library and wander the halls, looking for this mystery person. She come back and ask me clues about this person’s appearance or status. Was this person a student? Or–God help us all–a professor? A person so close to her power yet so far away, lost. Friends, am I a bad person? Don’t answer that.

Today we ran out of some crucial forms, and the Bea busted out her whiteout, the copier card, and the paper cutter to reassemble a few copies of a makeshift form. Then, she turned to Microsoft Word for a little extra help. Friends, this was Word 2008. Need I say more?

I think this seemingly harmless software has created a permanent tension my relationship with the Bea. Today, I tried to help her make a table. It was a mess, friends. My table was not to her liking, and she whined through the whole process of me making it. In the end, she bit her tongue and printed it out, because, believe me, it was more than adequate for her purposes.

She left for lunch, probably thinking Good riddance to this drone. Good times.

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a ball at the castle

April 11, 2008 at 12:43 am · Filed under bea's appearance, being a drone, drinks policy

Hello, there, friends. Let me tell you about this day. A wonderful, glorious day, friends, because food and drinks were legal in this library. I know, I know. I can hardly believe it myself.

There are not many days when so many people are allowed to openly break the rules, but two days out of the year the Bea allows a reception to take place in her castle. I prefer to call this event an exclusive ball, where for a few hours everyone wears fine clothing and eats and drinks, laughing and leaning dangerously close to the computers and wooden tables.

Last time this event took place, I wasn’t here to witness it, but someone spilled their drink next to a computer, surely eliciting shock from the crowd. I would think that the Bea would never allow such hooligans in her castle again. But, likely wielding to some sort of political pressure, she has allowed it once more, today.

This morning, the Bea, wearing her finest double-breasted suit, ushered in the caterers, waving her hands about and arranging and rearranging some fresh flowers. She bent over (as I winced — could she get back up again?) as she picked up little paper shreddings from the floor. She watered the plants (again, she just did that the other day), and she kept warning patrons that the castle would be closing soon in preparation for the semi-annual ball.

I decided to tread lightly and not raise any fuss. I quietly helped the Bea sort her mail, and I even took extra time straightening out the chairs in the castle and lining up keyboards. I paused for a moment to admire my work.

Now friends, even I, the drone, was allowed to don some fine clothing and partake in eating and drinking legally in the library. And for an hour, I forgot all about my responsibilities as a drone, and I drank a few non-alcoholic drinks (the only kind available), loaded my plate with questionable snacks, and carefully mingled, avoiding only the avoidable [people], forgetting about books and information, and loving every minute. The only thing that could’ve made it better was some of the hard stuff, you know, scotch. Or whatever. Wine coolers, I don’t care.

Though I was loving this time, I noticed some of my friends being awfully careless with their drinks. Once or twice, I saw a glass nearly spill, but someone would rescue it just in time. Tsk, tsk, friends. Some of you were sitting on the tables. Yes, bums on the tables. Blasphemy!

Just when I thought the food situation was under control, a fellow friend rounded the corner and lost control of her plate, spilling it onto the floor and onto the very table at which the Bea sat. I gasped and watched as the friend tried to pick up the pieces. The Bea showed a measured response, not appearing off-put by the situation, but I could tell her mind was racing. I just know it, friends. This castle was so out of control.

Here I am, though, back to being a drone in this quiet library. The last person just left. There are some crumbs on the floor, some fresh flowers, but other than those, no evidence that any fun was had in this castle.

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things are hoppin’

April 8, 2008 at 4:47 pm · Filed under bea's appearance, drinks policy, important people in blazers

Hello there, friends. Sorry I have been away. My oh my, the castle is a hoppin’ today.

The Bea carefully applied her makeup this morning, has watered the plants, has called the copier man, the newspaper man and the light fixture man, and all in a very short timeframe.

This castle is shaping up, and I can be reasonably sure that at least the plants won’t die. At least they can drink in this library.

And another thing, dear friends. I’m trying to keep my voice quiet now. There has been an important-person-in-a-blazer spotting, only just 15 minutes ago. This person was wearing a tan corduroy blazer and even boldly asked to remove a book from this library. What? Take a book from this library? Honey, I don’t think so.

But the Bea was here, and he withstood her friendly banter for a few minutes while I carefully watched him fumble with his watch. He promised to bring the book back within an hour. The Bea is in a good mood today. Should we take his thumbprint or his blood type, she asked me. Maybe the promise of his first-born? I kept my eyes on his watch, some good collateral that the Bea might take if she was in the right mood. Because, let me tell you, there is a lot of shady business in this library. A lot of shady dealings and secret exchanges. I’ll trade you an iPod for a thesis any day.

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taking my chances with a cup of joe.

April 4, 2008 at 8:00 pm · Filed under drinks policy, good days

Hello there, friends, and how are you?

I have to say that I’m might-y fine. At least by now I am.

This afternoon, when I parked in one of the local garages and started to head in, I had no idea whether the Bea would be here. I decided to take my chances and purchase a latte. I sprinkled a little cocoa on top. Yum. Tempting fate can be so delicious.

Heading toward the library is sort of a rollercoaster of emotions, ranging from fear to self-righteousness, and with my mug in tow, I started to worry what waited for me in the castle doors. Yesterday, the Bea said that we would have things to do today. I flipped through my iPod library to try to find a reassuring song, and, restless and nervous, I settled on “Suddenly I See.”

I headed past the multiple people exiting campus on this fine Friday, and I even did a little dance up the winding staircase leading to the castle doors. No one’s in this building, and I can dance when I want and do what I want. Drink coffee when I want. Right?

As I rounded the corner leading to the doors, I took a deep breath. I thought, I will not hide my coffee today.

I peeked through the doors and saw that the Bea’s office was dark. Hurrah!

And luckily, I have several magazines and the Internet at my fingertips. Good times, indeed.

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Good times in the Queen’s castle.

April 3, 2008 at 8:45 pm · Filed under being a drone, drinks policy

The Bea is back, friends. Let me tell you…she is making sure people know that, even though she’s been gone a few days, this is her castle and she’s here to stay.

She was out in the open today, pointing out people’s drinks and re-explaining the no-drinks policy. She’s making me do actual work, too. Damn.

Today we had to wheel some heavy boxes downstairs to the mail room, and while we were in the hallway, the Bea heard some sounds of laughter, some animated conversation. You know, the sounds of happiness.

Looking to squelch that happiness, she peered into the classroom. When she saw a professor there, conducting a class, she threw her hands up, backed out of the room, and said, “Just checking.”

You just never know when students are going to take up residence in classrooms, and talk or work while unattended, she told me. Right, you just never know, I agreed. Right.

Every moment, I think of my delicious coffee growing colder. It’s hiding somewhere in the stacks right now. Due to Bea’s unpredictable nature, I feel it’s too risky to retrieve it from its place of hiding.

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The mystery lunch

April 3, 2008 at 4:50 pm · Filed under bea's appearance, drinks policy

I work during lunch many days here, and there’s one question that has been nagging me:

Where does the Bea go for lunch?

She left just now, wearing what looked like freshly applied lipstick.

Come to think of it, I’ve never seen her in the stairwells or hallways or bathrooms or even outside in the bright sun. Does she really go out and eat lunch, because she leaves for a full hour. There is no sign of food in her office. Actually, I’ve never seen a drink in her office, either. Curious.

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a power-hungry drone

April 2, 2008 at 3:40 pm · Filed under drinks policy

With the Queen Bea around only sporadically this week, I’ve grown to enjoy the days when I get to pretend I’m the Queen.

I’ve been giving my fair share of dirty looks here in the library. I’m becoming quite good at it, if I do say so myself. I think I could make a decent living this way.

Yesterday, while I was watching, someone took a phone call in the library. The nerve. I stood up, and with my arms crossed, gave him a dirty look while he was on the phone and while he guiltily re-entered the library. There are no phone calls allowed here. The patron was courteous enough to exit in his hallway but maybe assumed that I couldn’t hear his entire conversation. He was wrong.

Five minutes later, as if to test my patience further, another patron unplugged a mouse from a library computer and plugged it into his own. Who does he think he is, taking school property with the drone only a few hundred feet away?

The one rule I always encourage people to break is the no-food-no-drinks. I take pity on the poor souls who follow these rules. One should never go hungry or thirsty while one is studying.

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Best day ever

March 27, 2008 at 7:21 pm · Filed under drinks policy, good days

Oh, friends, let me tell you– today is a good day. Queen Bea is on the road and away from the library for the next two days.

That means I can openly savor this fine coffee I’m drinking. Sad, I know, but there is a hard no-food-or-drinks-policy here in this library. When I first started working here, I would get hungry and dehydrated. Not anymore. I have become quite used to tucking away a mug of coffee and taking secret swigs when Queen Bea’s in her office. When she walks, her keys jingle, and I have just enough time to rehide whatever shenanigans I’m up to.

I spend a lot of my time here looking out for the patrons. Though the no-drinks policy is clearly posted outside the library doors, many of them forget and will drink water or coffee in the library. When the Bea is testy, she will patrol the area and ask people to tuck away their drinks.

This happens on occasion. When an expensive book goes missing in this library, Bea is more likely to tear through the library and ask people to remove their drinks. On these sorts of days, I try to get to the patrons before Bea does. I’ll whisper to them that Bea will likely walk by. They’ll quickly put their drinks away and thank me.

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